The Journey to Joy

I’ve always been tall. At school I would get confused for older years. At family events my dad would joke that we lived next to a chemical works, which was true, and that they made fertilisers, which was not.

When it came to sport, I excelled on a rugby pitch. My role was simple. Get the ball, run hard at people, and use my size to my advantage. Being bigger was always a benefit. I was not required to have fast feet, silky skills, or the change of direction to make space. I was built as a blunt object.

And honestly, for many years I’ve carried that into my worship leading.

I have stood confidently and solidly with my guitar at a mic stand. Unmovable. Strong. Big. Happy to encourage those around me to be free in worship, but personally living in the truth of the lyric, “I’m dancing in my heart.”

Yes. I am not built for dancing.

Recently, at a church leadership conference, I had the privilege of being in the band. Looking out at more than two thousand people engaging in worship was incredible. At the front there was a group that grew in every session. People dancing, jumping, kneeling, pressing into worship with their whole bodies.

I spoke with a friend about it, one of the dancers, and she said something simple.

“I’m just being obedient to God.”

She was not saying, “That’s my thing,” or “That’s what I’m built to do.” She was being obedient.

And it stirred something in me.

My mind started turning things over, and it seemed God was opening something too, because that night I had the most vivid prophetic dream.

In the dream I was leading worship in the De Grey Rooms, our temporary building. In the middle of the song Joy by Martin Smith, I set down my guitar, took out my in-ear monitors, and stepped into the congregation where an almighty dance party was beginning.

The room was full of jumping, dancing, singing, joy and freedom.

It was beautiful.

I woke up thinking, “Oh my gosh, how cool would that be?” and my mind began to chew over what it might look like.

But remember. I am the blunt object.

Well, this is where things began to change.

‘get behind me spotify’

That week I was walking to collect my son from school and searched for the song Joy of the Lord by The Belonging Co. Spotify responded, “Could not find ‘the joy of the lord’.”

I thought to myself, “Get behind me, Spotify.”

Nothing was going to rob me of the growing sense that something was shifting and that the Lord had something coming for us.

That weekend our 18 to 30s community were away together and our theme was Awakening. We were praying for a fresh fire in that community.

And what a fire it was.

We sang. We prayed. We saw people receiving spiritual gifts. Out of a moment of consecration, with everyone on their knees, a fresh wave of spontaneous singing began to rise.

It was a beautiful and powerful weekend.

And right in the middle of it was your 35 year old blunt-edged rugby player.

The blunt object was dancing.

Dear reader, let me tell you.

The Lord broke the lies of my self-consciousness. He kicked away the fear of pride and embarrassment. He set me free to respond with full, joyful expression to his goodness.

And then there was the dream. All of us dancing together in the De Grey Rooms.

Fast forward three days to Open House, one of our monthly worship nights.

Those evenings are always special spaces, but something new was released again. There was deep conviction, consecration, and the Father doing powerful work. And then a huge release of joy.

Suddenly I found myself doing exactly what I had seen in the dream.

I put down my guitar.
I took out my in-ears.

And I joined the congregation as we danced, jumped, sang, and joined the heavenly song together.

It was releasing.
It was joyful.
And it was a lot of fun.

The dream had become reality, and all glory and honour was given to the Lord.

Because here’s the thing.

The reason I share my past and what the Lord has been doing in me is that I think many of us feel a hesitation around this kind of joy. A fear that we are overhyping things, being silly, or somehow not being very Christian.

But friends, if I were trying to hype something up or make it about me, I have picked the wrong vehicle.

I was undignified.
I was out of breath.
I was sweating.

And I was full of the joy of the Lord.

And it has changed me.

It has changed my countenance.
It has freed something in me.
It has opened Scripture in fresh ways.
It has made me quicker to pray for people in the moment.
It has stirred my love for the church.

So if you, like Spotify that day, sometimes feel like you cannot find the joy of the Lord, let me encourage you.

If it can overflow in a blunt rugby player like me, it can overflow in you too.

We are called to enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise. We are called to joyfully declare and shout about the goodness of God.

My prayer is that what the Lord has been growing in me over these last few weeks, you would discover in your own relationship with the Father.